"Do You Love Me?" A Sermon on John 21:15-25

S. I. McMillen, in his book None of These Diseases, tells a story of a woman who wanted to go to college, but her heart sank when she read a question on the application that asked, "Are you a leader?" Being honest, she wrote, "No," and sent in the application, expecting the worst. To her surprise, she received this letter from the college: "Dear Applicant: A study of the application forms reveals that this year our college will have 1,452 new leaders. We are accepting you because we feel it is imperative that they have at least one follower."

We’re celebrating graduations of all kinds this morning: high school, college, graduate school. So, in honor of this occasion, I’d like to give you a one-sentence graduation speech: My challenge to you, graduates and non-graduates alike, is this: Be a follower.

That’s different than a lot of graduation speeches you’ll be hearing (or have already heard) about changing the world by being a leader, isn’t it? But that’s my advice to you. Follow. Follow whom? We’ll get to that.

Our passage in John 21 is especially applicable to graduates. You have finished one chapter and are beginning another. And you are now faced with a very important decision. It’s not where to go to college or where to look for a job. Those are important things, but not the most important. The question for you this morning is the same question that Jesus asks his disciple, Peter. It is this:  “Do you love me?”

This is not a rhetorical question. It’s one that each of us must answer, and one you graduates must think deeply about as you begin this new chapter. Your lives depend on it.

Jesus and Peter had known each other for several years. Peter had followed Jesus on his journeys teaching, preaching, and healing. Peter denied Jesus, and then was ashamed. Peter was there when Jesus died a horrible death on a cross. And Peter met him after his resurrection, seeing firsthand the power of God to conquer death.

But when we meet Peter in John 21, a new chapter was beginning. Jesus was getting ready to ascend to heaven—to return to his father. He would no longer be physically present with Peter, much like, for many of you graduates, your parents will no longer be physically present with you.

So, at this crucial time, Jesus asks Peter the most important question of Peter’s life: “Do you love me?”

Jesus knows that Peter will no longer have the same support that he did when Jesus was right there. You graduates are entering a phase of life where you may not have the same support you once did. That’s part of growing up. In college, no one wakes you up on Sunday morning to go to church. No one forces you to do the right thing. Also: no one does your laundry, but that’s another issue. You will have new freedoms and challenges, and because of this, Jesus’ question is meant for you directly today. “Do you love me?”

Jesus asks Peter this question three times. In Jewish culture, when a question was asked three times, it was given more emphasis each time. It’s as if Jesus was asking Peter, “Do you love me? Really love me? Really, really, truly love me?”

This love that Jesus talks about is a deep and serious love. It’s not love like, “I love tacos” or “I love summer days” or even “I love Denzel Washington.” The love Jesus is talking about is love so deep it requires action. It’s love that affects our behavior.

Jesus equates Peter’s love for him with Peter’s actions. “If you love me,” says Jesus, “Feed my sheep.” And this is true of love, isn’t it? If we love someone, we act on that love. We don’t just talk about it. This doesn’t mean just hugs and kisses. It means sacrificial service. Self-giving. Early on in our marriage, months after we had pledged our vows of love for one another, Daryl wasn’t feeling well. I could tell he was looking a little green and queasy, but he swore he was fine. And then he suddenly jumped off of the couch and made it almost to the bathroom before throwing up…everywhere.

I remember standing there in the doorway, still a newlywed, thinking, “This wasn’t in the vows.” My selfish side wanted to tell him he was on his own. But love requires action. So I sent him to bed. And I got out the paper towels. He would have done it for me.

Real love, true love, means doing even hard things. Even things we don’t feel like doing. Shakespeare, in one of his sonnets, wrote that “Love looks on tempests and is never shaken.” Love changes us.

Jesus gives Peter two ways to demonstrate his love. First, he tells him to care for his sheep. To watch over those who would come to know Jesus, and to teach them about the Gospel. Then, Jesus asks Peter to do something even harder. “Follow me,” he says.

For the graduates in our midst today, you are entering a new phase of life, as Peter was. Many of you who aren’t graduating are still entering a new phase of life. From junior high to high school. From one grade to another. From one job to another. From a full house to an empty nest. From singleness to marriage. Today, God is calling to you: “Follow me.”

If this sounds a little bit abstract, let me give you three practical ways you can begin or continue following God, demonstrating your love for him.

First, keep going to church. Every Sunday. Follow Jesus to church. Find a church where the pastor and the people tell you about Jesus. About how much he loves you. About the ways Scripture calls us to live. In church we put ourselves in a place where we will encounter God—through Scripture, worship, community. In the book of Hebrews, the author says, “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another.” Go to church! It doesn’t have to be this church, but go!

Secondly, find a spiritual mentor. We all need someone who loves Jesus to regularly speak truth into our lives. Find someone you can be honest with, ask tough questions with, and pray with. This may be a member of the clergy, a professor, a lay person, someone from another church, a campus ministry leader, a family member—anyone who you know loves Jesus and seeks to follow him in a way you want to emulate.

I have had a series mentors in the past ten years, including a Mennonite poetry professor, an Anglican pastor who helped me discern my calling to ministry, and a wonderful Presbyterian parish associate who always sent me books in the mail at just the right moment. Now I have two mentors who I meet with to help encourage and direct me. You’re never too old for this.

Finally, and this is an appropriate reminder on a Sunday full of baptisms: remember your baptism. Many of you were baptized here. Others were baptized elsewhere. Some of you were infants; others old enough to remember the day very well. Either way, remember that God claims you as his own, and loves you. He’s crazy about you. Remember that faith in Jesus, who died and rose and reigns for you, is not just “kid stuff.” It’s real. It’s powerful. It’s the truest thing I know.

Congratulations, graduates. There’s a lot in the days ahead to celebrate. But amidst all the lessons you will learn in the days ahead, the most important one is the one Peter learned here.

Jesus says, to you: “Do you love me? Follow me.”

Don’t be a leader. Be a follower. A follower of Jesus.

In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Amen.