These Sweet Final Days

When my husband and I moved to New Jersey from Chicago back in 2008, we decided to be intentional about the goodbye. We loved Chicago (still do!) and it was a hard move to make. We knew God was calling us to seminary, though, so it had to be done.

We made a list of things we wanted to do to say goodbye to Chicago, and throughout the summer before our move, we checked things off the list.

We spent a day in Evanston, home of Northwestern U and one of the best Chicago skyline views that there is.

We went to Starved Rock State Park and hiked until we could hike no more.

We had dinner after dinner with our dearest friends.

We walked around our neighborhood and went to our old haunts -- one restaurant for a shared creme brulee, a coffee shop for one final turtle mocha, our former college campus to reminisce about falling in love on the lawn, in the art building, over omelettes in the cafeteria.

It helped to say an intentional goodbye to our first phase of marriage, to our favorite city, and to the life we had shared there. It was less painful than letting the goodbye just happen to us, and it helped give closure to a really special time.

We've been doing the same thing as we say goodbye to a family of two and prepare to say hello to a family of three.

We are incredibly excited to meet our little beh-beh in just a few days or weeks, yet any change is difficult. One of the things I've learned firsthand by working for hospice and now serving as a pastor is that change brings grief. Even good change.

So as we wait for this baby, we are being intentional about saying goodbye to a really sweet phase of life - the spring of our marriage. Years spent pursuing education, falling deeper in love, discerning vocational paths, moving across the country, traveling with relative ease. We are saying goodbye to long evenings with books and wine and uninterrupted sleep.

We didn't make a list this time, but we did plan intentional time together, just the two of us.

In May and June we traveled to France and Germany, putting a European jaunt under our belts and holding hands in front of the Eiffel Tower and the Bavarian Alps.

In July we enjoyed a Continuing Education trip to Michigan to hear Christian authors and speakers, and spent the afternoons lounging by the pool and evenings walking on the shores of Lake Michigan.

Now, in August we are sticking closer to home but making time for dates that have turned out to be deeply meaningful to us both.

--Photo borrowed from Apple Trailers.

Last Friday we traveled to a nearby small town to see "Moonrise Kingdom" at an independent theater. We didn't know what to expect, but it turns out that this theater had both cotton candy (a surefire way to my heart) and padded rocking seats (a surefire way to my husband's).

We watched Wes Anderson's beautiful movie about puppy love, ate cotton candy, and rocked and rocked and rocked. Afterward we drove home and talked about our first memories of falling in love. That night I fell asleep with my head on my husband's shoulder. A sweet night indeed.

--Photo borrowed from Ace Show Biz.

This Friday we are planning to go see an early showing of Mike Birbiglia's film "Sleepwalk With Me" at a theater in Madison. It's on limited release, but seems well worth a drive for two huge fans of This American Life (an NPR story-based show) and Birbiglia as a comedian. Belly laughs are good for me these days.

We've taken walks around the neighborhood more regularly. We've gone to bed at the same time. We've watched old TV shows (hello, West Wing!), talked about the past, and dreamed about the future.

It's been a season of great joy and expectation, as well as grieving these new changes (hey, I LIKE to sleep!). It's hard to say goodbye to the old ways of life, but it helps when we have something so wonderful to say hello to coming soon.

How do you say goodbye?