What We Did for Mother's Day

Mother's Day is a tough day in churches. Not only because it's a Hallmark holiday, which makes most pastors bristle (I mean, really, are we supposed to preach on Valentine's Day now, too?), but because the vocation of motherhood is fraught with so many strong emotions.

As a new mom myself, I know firsthand how delightful and exhausting motherhood is. But I have also heard from many women the pain and struggle of being physically unable to have children. I have heard the heartache of wanting to adopt and having it fall through. I heave heard the frustration of wanting to marry and have children, but still being single.

I have heard the stories of women who have suffered unwanted abortions, tragic miscarriages, and the death of children.

Mother's Day is hard.

Pastors in my circle treat it differently, from making it a church holiday unto itself to refusing to acknowledge it in any way. At our church we chose the middle way. I often find Jesus takes the middle way, too.

We handed out carnations to the women in our midst - any adult women, not just those who had borne children themselves. We featured the kids in worship, both the small children singing and the older youth performing a skit. One talented videographer in our church made a "We love you, Mom!" video to play during the offering.

And then one of our male elders read this liturgy, borrowed and adapted from blogger Amy Young. I'm thankful for her words, which helped us put liturgy behind the joy and pain of all kinds of motherhood.

Here it is, in case you want to adapt it for use in your church next year (with great thanks to Amy, of course!):

A Litany for Mother’s Day

·      To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you

·      To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you

·      To those who are in the trenches with their little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you

·      To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you

·      To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.

·      To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you

·      To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you

·      To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you

·      To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you

·      To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience

·      To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst

·      To those who have aborted children – we remember them and you on this day

·      To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be

·      To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths

·      To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren -yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you

·      To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you

·      And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you

This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We thank God for you.

Happy (Belated) Mother's Day, all!